I was at the movies with my girlfriend. I forgot that she injured her leg during cheer practice the other day, and was rubbing it. She got pissed, and yelled in pain “Stop touching me there”. They stopped the movie, and two guys dragged me outside and beat me up thinking I was a rapist. FWM
#1010 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 8:57pm by Someone - Love - wow [?] (12) - Been there done that. (1)
While trying a case in court today, I accidentally said “We, the prostitution” instead of We, the prosecution”. FWM
#1006 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 4:22pm by Someone - Work - wow [?] (25) - Been there done that. (4)
I sent a text to my fiance: "I'm worried this is a mistake, I think it's best to call it off." It's the day before our wedding and she replied saying she was happy because she didn't really want to get married. It was meant for my best man about having a stripper at my bachelor party FWM
#1002 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 3:32pm by Someone - Love - wow [?] (15) - Been there done that. (0)
My boyfriend and I made a porno. I uploaded it to send it to him via e-mail. I accidentally sent it to his mom. FWM
#1001 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 3:30pm by Someone - Sex - wow [?] (8) - Been there done that. (0)
I was standing outside my job smoking an electronic cigarette that cost me $100. When it was time for me to go back in I accidentally through the cigarette down the sewer forgetting it wasn't a normal cigarette FWM
#1000 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 3:26pm by Someone - Money - wow [?] (12) - Been there done that. (1)
I was talking to a friend of mine, when I get an IM from a wierd Screenname. The first words they typed were "I have a new boyfriend. And he nailed me harder than you ever could." It turned out to be my ex. My dad walked in and read it over my shoulder. He lent me his "How to" book on sex FWM
#999 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 3:24pm by Someone - Sex - wow [?] (5) - Been there done that. (2)
Recently, my high school wrestling team has our last match. In this match, I had to wrestle a 270 pound girl. I wrestle at heavyweight, which is anything over 215 lbs. up to 275. I won. She kicked me in the balls after. I jacked her in the face. Only I was Disqualified. Then suspended from school.. FWM
#992 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 12:31am by Someone - Random - wow [?] (6) - Been there done that. (2)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed, watching a movie and eating Vanilla yogurt. A really funny scene came on and i laughed so hard that i spit the yogurt that was on my mouth on the bed. Then, my mom decides to come home early to find my boyfriend and I in bed with white stuff all around FWM
#991 comment (0) - May 13th, 2009 at 12:20am by Someone - Sex - wow [?] (11) - Been there done that. (3)
I noticed that my son has been vacuuming his room twice a day. I was so happy that he was finally cleaning up after himself. During one of his cleaning sessions I walk into him room to tell him I'm proud of him and see him sticking his penis in my vacuum FWM
#990 comment (0) - May 12th, 2009 at 10:33pm by Someone - Kids - wow [?] (28) - Been there done that. (7)
I went to AC, and played at this one slot machine for 3 hours. I spent almost $500, and didn't win anything. I decided to just give up since I only had $5 left. The second I walk away, and lady puts $1 in and wins the jackpot of $50,000. FWM
#989 comment (0) - May 12th, 2009 at 10:29pm by Someone - Money - wow [?] (22) - Been there done that. (2)
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