I got pulled over by a state cop for speeding. While I was on the phone with my car insurance company trying to get a lower rate FWM

I realized my federal taxes weren't filed, so I called the IRS to ask if there would be any negative outcomes (monetary penalties). He said "you just have to file them." I asked again. Same response. Flustered, I screamed "IS THIS F'ING GOING TO EFFECT MY CITIZENSHIP?!" I was born in CT. FWM

I drove past a police station and there was a group of officers protesting outside against budget cuts on the police department. A sign read 'Honk to show your support' so I honked my horn three times. A cop then pulled me over and game me a ticket for $75 for 'misuse of horn FWM

I was driving home at 12 AM and i saw a car stalking me without the lights on, so I got scared. Seeing a stop sign in my neighborhood, I decided to lose him by passing right through the stop sign by going 60mph. It was a cop who fined me a $160 ticket FWM

I was standing outside my job smoking an electronic cigarette that cost me $100. When it was time for me to go back in I accidentally through the cigarette down the sewer forgetting it wasn't a normal cigarette FWM

I went to AC, and played at this one slot machine for 3 hours. I spent almost $500, and didn't win anything. I decided to just give up since I only had $5 left. The second I walk away, and lady puts $1 in and wins the jackpot of $50,000. FWM

My husband and I sat down at the table to both exchange the news we had for eachother. I told him I wanted a divorce because of his low income. After I said that, it was his turn. The news he was so anxious to share was he hit the lottery, and will not fight the divorce FWM

My homegirl was hanging out in my bedroom while I was taking a shower. I come out the shower and see her holding windex and paper towels. She said she cleaned up the ashes, and baby powder on my desk. It wasn't baby powder. She windexed $120 worth of coke FWM

I was sitting with my neighbor & her girlfriend they were drunk. My neighbor starts feeling nauseous, so I help her lean forward to throw up, nothing comes out, so I relax thinking it has passed, The minute she leans all the way back out of nowhere with out warning she starts projectile hurling all over her self and anything with in 2 feet in all directions, including me & my $950 Gucci uptowns FWM